Masturbation: One of Life’s Pleasures

“Enjoy your life” is something I’ve heard many times over the years. A simple and beautiful piece of advice. Usually, it means enjoying good food and drinks, traveling, nature, good company, and moments of peace and quiet.

But does that also include sexual pleasure? And more specifically: masturbation?

Honestly, I don’t think it does. At least, it’s rarely said out loud.

And yet, as far as I’m concerned, masturbation is absolutely one of life’s pleasures. A form of pleasure that deserves to be part of enjoying life just as much as anything else.

In this essay, I want to share my personal perspective on masturbation as one of life’s pleasures.

Discovering Masturbation 

Like so many others, I started masturbating during puberty. I went through puberty relatively late; I was a bit behind the others and was the smallest kid in my class. But around the age of fourteen, I started discovering my body and my genitals. And especially around sixteen, I became increasingly interested in the girls at my school.

It often started with a little stir in my pants, though not because I needed to pee. I would sometimes feel it when I was out and about, but I never felt the need to do anything about it right then. I always saved that for home.

It became almost a little ritual: after school, or at the end of the workday, I would retreat to my bedroom for a little masturbation session.

Often, the goal was simply an orgasm to get rid of my horniness. And honestly, it also helped me clear my head, because without it I sometimes found it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

When cable internet arrived — before that, my parents still had dial-up internet — and I got my own computer in my bedroom, masturbation took on a whole new dimension. From that point on, masturbation was often accompanied by watching porn.

Porn provided an extra source of stimulation alongside my own imagination. Especially during that period, I mainly used it to get to the climax as quickly as possible.

Having an orgasm was also a convenient way for me to fall asleep. So I would often masturbate again at night in bed. I still do it to this day, because so far I’ve discovered very few other methods that work better for a quick trip to dreamland.

From Orgasm to Enjoyment 

In my twenties, porn gradually became less and less important to me. I discovered sex with women, and the excitement of porn had also worn off a little for me. I started relying more and more on my own imagination, and I could let it become as wild as I wanted.

And I noticed that the more I connected with my own sexual desires, the more I began to enjoy masturbation.

Does that mean I didn’t enjoy masturbating before? Of course not. I enjoyed it back then too, but as I became more connected with my own sexual desires, the way I experienced it began to change.

Masturbation gradually became less of a means to an end — whether that was reducing stress, sleeping better, or simply having an orgasm. It became something I was willing to take my time with, something I could enjoy along the way.

My touches became slower. I started to fully immerse myself in my fantasies and let the excitement build and build until I could no longer hold back.

And best of all: my orgasms became better when I took my time.

And more and more often, I found myself thinking: why shouldn’t I simply enjoy this?

Why Should Pleasure Feel Guilty? 

And that question actually touches on the way sex in the broadest sense, and masturbation in particular, are viewed in the world around us.

Sex and masturbation are still often seen as something dirty, something you should perhaps be ashamed of. And as a human being, it’s hard not to absorb some of those ideas. And that’s without even getting into beliefs in which masturbation is explicitly preached as sinful.

The term “guilty pleasure” is often used, and for a long time, that term stuck with me too. But eventually I started asking myself: why guilty? Why should I feel guilty? No one is being harmed, and no one else has anything to do with it.

I believe everyone is entitled to have their own views on this. If someone, based on their own beliefs, considers masturbation sinful, that is up to them. But as far as I’m concerned, there is no need to impose that belief on someone else.

For me, that means giving myself — and, by extension, others — the freedom to enjoy masturbation. Without needing a reason for it, and without feeling ashamed of it.

Masturbation as One of Life’s Pleasures 

I don’t have to masturbate because I’m stressed, because I want to sleep better, or simply because I’m horny. I can also do it just because I feel like it. Because it feels good. Because it is one of the ways I enjoy life.

As far as I’m concerned, it belongs in the same category as eating something delicious, having a drink, going for a walk, and all those other little things we enjoy in life.

I think it’s a shame that other people don’t see it that way — at least not yet. I would even dare to say that they may be denying themselves something. Sexual pleasure and the need for physical pleasure are, in my view, deeply woven into human nature. Just like the need to eat and drink, it is something natural. So why deny yourself that pleasure?

You don’t have to share the fact that you enjoy a particular food, or what you’re having for dinner tonight, with everyone, do you? And if it isn’t the right time or place to eat, you simply wait until the right moment comes along. That doesn’t make eating something to be ashamed of. The same goes for masturbation, as far as I’m concerned. It is something private, but private does not mean something to feel guilty or ashamed about.

That’s why, these days, I increasingly find myself saying to myself when I’m about to masturbate: “Time to enjoy myself!”

I enjoy life to the fullest. Do you?